Girls are Pretty and Nice as Long as They're Dancing Naked and not Talking

Many apologies for not posting in the last six weeks. I was kidnaped by a neighboring tribe, and forced to preform horrendous sexually deviant acts with livestock... It was an initiation rite of sorts, and now I am there household god.

Seriously, I quit my job of the last seven years, and took a new position at a manufacturing company that caters to the law enforcement market.

The downside is that I actually have to learn a new market, company, distribution network, etc.

The upside is that I can now walk to work, I’ve traded in desk accouterments of bibles and icons for MP5's, Colt Sporters, Benelli Pumps, and I can smoke in my office.

I have also inherited an office dog by the name of Cornelius who puts Cerberus to shame.

Seriously, this is a gigantic, vicious, jet black Great Dane who lives only to devour small children, cowardly office workers, and the UPS guy. Now I’ve known this dog since he was a puppy, and I made it quite clear to him that I taste like hollow-point bullets. You bite me, I put one through your head. Just like the last one that bit me that’s buried in the back yard.

So every morning I show up with a pocket full of processed cheese and little chicken bits.

We’re getting along swimmingly.

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Christmas was grand. Miles of trekking around to the folks and the in-laws and boxes upon boxes of really annoying flashy blingy siren type toys. Too bad they stop working when the batteries run out.
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We had our annual post-Christmas bash two weekends ago. There were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident. Or rather we murdered a few dozen handles of Captain Morgan, had a big fire, and wrapped it all up around 5:00 am on a Sunday.

Which leads me to the headline...Life needs more pretty, naked, dancing, mute girls,... and less Church.

Or at least once or twice a year.